I could launch into a thought provoking soliloquy on the year that is, ands is rapidly becoming was 2007, but the list is long enough as it is and I know my readers have ADD, so I’ll spare you both the thoughtfulness that my brother BK is so great at and the long-windedness that’s usually standard for me and get to the point: My picks for 2007’s memorable Hip Hop moments. Some good, some bad, some losses, a gain or two, but all stick out for one reason or another.

In no particular order:

US geography is redefined.  In the August issue of Ozone magazine, Pimp C lambasts the A, denying them entry into the bastion of Sothern Hip Hop.  He later clarifies his terms, but not soon enough for hundreds of confused elementary school students in the midst of their geography lessons.

TI is arrested. Hours before he was set to perform and win a shit load of statues at the BET Hip Hop Awards in Atlanta in October, TI is taken down by the alphabet boys on some major gun charges. At a press conference, the federalis display a sampling of some of the weaponry collected at TI’s home, prompting even his staunchest supporters to at least think to themselves “damn, he done fucked up now.” As a convicted felon, on probation, Tip was initially denied parole, but later put on house arrest. Going into 08, his future remains unclear.

Mike Vick. In August, Atlanta Falcon’s Mike Vick was arrested on gambling and dog fighting charges. In what became the story of the summer, Vick lost his job, his money and went to jail over dogs. Not people. Not babes, not little old ladies- but dogs.

The 9/11 showdown. Bin Laden may still be missing but on 9/11/07 the biggest thing on most Hip Hop fans minds was Curtis vs. Kanye. The internet had spent the summer buzzing about the September showdown. Would it be a sales celebration? A big win for Hip Hop as two titans and commercial heroes went head to head?  No strangers to publicity whoredom, Ye & Boo Boo did the part to beef up the showdown, with Curtis going as far as to say he’d retire if Kanye outsells him. The results? Graduation waaaay the fuck outsold Curtis. Curtis didn’t retire.

RIP Pimp C. Trill niggas aren’t supposed to die, especially those as beloved and respected as Chad Butler, but on the morning of December 4, his pimp hand became too strong for this world and he was called to that big old Cadillac in the sky.

Saigon. He Retires. Un-retires. Has beef with his label, Prodigy, Just Blaze (sorta). Apparently as 2008 approaches, his album is FINALLY finished. Two things remain to be seen: will his label give him a release date? Will rap fans give a fuck?

Jena 6. Racism proved to be beyond alive and well in this Podunk town in Louisiana as 6 Black kids was thrust into the national spotlight for allegedly assaulting a white kid after long simmering racially motivated incidents, included segregated trees and nooses came to a head. It took months for the case to gain significant attention in the national news media, but cats like Bun B, Mos Def and Salt n Pepa supported the cause, attending marches and shedding light on the situation. All the attention had proven helpful to the 6. What has not proven helpful; however, are their own penchants for posting YouTube videos of them making it rain with their defense funds.

Hip Hop Broads are gully as hell. Kim is the only person in the game who straight up won’t snitch. Remy won’t cut a bitch- she’ll straight up shoot a ho. Foxy- that broad’s just bat shit crazy.  2007 was the year that NY rapstresses did time (yeah I know Kim did her time in 06, let’s call her the trend setter).

Fiascogate. Lupe forgot the lyrics during the ATCQ tribute on VH1’s Hip Hop Honors. Aside from a blog or two, no one really gave a fuck.  Several months later his album dropped. Still. No one really gave a fuck. Sorry Chi Town.

Ball till you fall. Leader of the Black Mafia Family, Demetrius “Big Meech” Flenory, copped a plea and faces 30 years on a federal penitentiary for 15 years of being his generations Frank Lucas.  Was his dream of being big in Hip Hop his downfall?  Too many parties, too much bling, too many billboards announcing his status as King of BMF? Who knows. BET is, I’m sure, currently putting together his episode of “American Gangster.”

One is a lonely number. Hip Hop continues to disappear from the charts as the top 20 best selling albums contained one Hip Hop album: Kanye West’s Graduation. Two if you count Akon. But you really shouldn’t because in two years you’ll be thinking Akon who? That skinny dark skinded cat who couldn’t sing all that well? Yeah, I liked Nate Dogg better too.

Vitamin Water. Galceau sold to Coca-Cola, and Hip Hop only cared because for a hot second, it appeared as though the sale would make fatten Curtsy Boo Boo’s by 400 million dollars. Those of us with sense know this was some bullshit; the stans refused to believe it, but again, no one really cared.

Yayo beats children. Allegedly. Curtis’ most loyal goon is rumored to have slapped Jimmy Henchmen’s 14 year old son up outside Jimmy’s NY offices in March. Yayo denies it.  But If I ever have kids, that fool cannot baby sit.

A Lukewarm Spring. The only reason the summer was hot was because of Global Warming. Despite Cam’ron’s promises, the most interesting thing he did was an amusing YouTube clip that coined the phrase “Get my (insert generic background item, i.e. pool, ficus, McDonalds’ parking lot) in the back.” With his beef with 50 Cent, and getting kicked out- put on punishment- of his own crew by Capo Jones himself, Cam spent most of 2007 as a long running joke (Fuck Waldo, where’s Cam?), however, he did manage close the year with a hot mixtape, so don’t count Killa out quite yet.

Mixtapes no longer lucrative? DJ Drama & Don Canon were arrested in January under Federal RICO statues, over 80,000 mixtapes were sized for destruction and all their assets frozen, starting what will be an interesting “war on mixtapes.”

Shawn Corey Carter. One signature color for a car (Yukon blue). Own champagne (that no one drinks but w/e). Rocawear sold for $204 million (conformed) an attempt to name a stadium after his clothing line, and an album that was actually worth coming out of retirement for. Hate him or love him, Former Presidente Jay Hova had a hell of a year and chances of him disappearing into the sunset in 2008 are slimmer than that chick in the Calvin Klein pantses.

Hip Hop Weeklies. Hate him or love him, clown him or respect him, listen or just hate, even I gotta respect Crooked I’s hustle. While many feel the novelty of his Hip Hop weeklies wore off some time after week 7, he isn’t slowing down, is set to reach #29 sometime this week- regardless of what hating ass bloggers may say. 

Underground cats had the internet going nuts. From Blu & Exile to Jay Electronic, to Phonte leaking the get Back early (I know ya’ll peeped the message in his track listings), the biggest albums of the year were sleeper hits from cats that most people had neither heard of or seen before (with the exception of Little Brother of course). Hopefully they’ll still be around come December 2008.

Read a motherfuckin’ book.  In June some DC Cat named Bomani released this web video called Read a Book.  Was it a joke? For serious? No one was quite certain what to think when they forst peeped this joint.  When it began airing on BET one wouldn’t help but feel that once again, BET was missing the point.

Live Music. Rock the Bells had a fly line up, TI brought  Jay, ‘Ye, Puff  and Curtis on stage and the Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival made even the most hating of southerners show a little respect for the North. (But not Jersey.) Goes to show that acts that know how to rock a mic live will always have a bit of income. Shout out to the real performers, thumbs down to the sorry ass motherfuckers who just let their homies scream out their lyrics while they are drunk onstage.

Pause.  You knew Hip Hop slang had gone too far when you peeped the clip of Gus Johnson pausing Spike Lee on national TV after Spike mentioned how much he liked Dick while being interviewed during the NBA draft in June. (Dan Dackau, not Larry’s Johnson). It was beyond hilarious, and was called by more than one the most professional pause ever.

Don Imus. In April, the white man calls Black girls nappy headed hos. An opportunity to shed light on the years of racial inequity and long simmering racism in this country? Nay. An opportunity to blame rap? Indeed. Imus walked away with a minor tap on the wrist, Oprah held a townhall meeting lambasting rappers, and Hip Hop was blamed. Imus returned the air in the beginning of December.

David Banner stands the fuck up. The Mississippi rapper/producer/actor became the unlikely face of free speech, calling out Black political leaders and power brokers in interviews, on songs and as a featured speaker during the Congressional Hearing on Hip Hop.  In September he released So Special tearing Al, Oprah, Russell Simmons and others new ones.

The Congressional Hearings.  In September the US Congress found it more fitting to discuss Hip Hop lyrics than end the war on terror, the war in Iraq, address Global Warming, rising gas costs, but I digress. Titled “From Imus to Industry: The Business of Stereotypes and Degradation” Congress called to testify the head head (pause) honchos of all the major labels to defend their decisions to sign ad release music that was misogynistic in tone. The only artists invited to speak were seemingly odd choices- the aforementioned Levell Crump, and Master P.  Did the hearings accomplish anything? Hell no. It is the US Government after all. Fuck were you thinking?

AYO Hip Hop! At least at Weezy & his daddy ‘s XXL cover was showing off their heavily tattooed torsos (ughhh) scarily featuring tattoos of each other (ewwwww) or the  brilliantly hilarious video of Beans gently caressing Peedi.  Legit or not… there were some seriously pause worthy moments of 2007.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU. Some skinny shorty blows up  with a song depicting a specific sex act, along with an accompanying dance. Then the fucker gets a Grammy nomination. The end is nigh. 

Uncle Murder grips up.  Pap and Murder meet up in the club, does pap run him off? NEVER THAT. Murder clarifies what happens with a web video telling how he gripped “gripped up like I had my motherfucking thing on me and they ran the other motherfuckin way.” Lesson:  when in doubt- ALWAYs grip up like you got the cal on you.  Even if you don’t.  At least that’s what you do if you’re motherfucking Uncle Murder.

Still unsolved. If you kill a rapper you will not go to prison. The anniversaries of Pac, Big & Jam Master Jay’s murder came and went with no new leads. Stack Bundles family can feel a bit more closure, as an arrest was made a month after his June murder.

Khaled. I personally can’t stand the fucker, but if “We the BEEEEEEEEST” isn’t ubiquitous with 07, not much is.

Canibus released an epic track in April. Unfortunately…no one understood the concept.  Even Plug Industries. Says Canibus: “Poet Laureate Infinity” is the grand finale on the album. There are 1,000 bars in that track and due to the way it’s layered, it’s an infinite rhyme. When you mix it and spread it throughout five channels, [you have the ability] to mix the track differently every time. Because when you hear the mix, whichever one you hear, you are only listening to one layer at a time. But there are four other layers there. You are only going to be hearing 200 bars per record. But at any moment and every moment, there are 800 bars that you’re not listening to. So I’ve created something that’s never been done before. Every time it’s mixed, you’ll hear a different song. Yeah…9 months later…I still don’t get it.

Alumnah Launches. (Yo- I said it was MY most memorable moments). Shout out to the blogfather eskay for laying the foundation and the homie pmass for dropping the idea for my dotcomrades and me to unify and grab a bigger piece of the internet pie. Make room for us at the table in 08- we hungry.

Feel free to add on to the list in the comments, as I have no doubt I’m leaving several off.