Dear Marion,

Hi Suge! It’s me, greenie. Its been awhile since we last spoke Suga Bear. You don’t mind that I call you Suga Bear do you? I mean as much as we go back, you should be cool with my affectionate nickname. I mean, shit… I was down with Death Row from the word go. My domicile may have been on the Eastern seaboard, but lets be honest, back in the early 90s ain’t nann body paid attention to the South, and I was never riding for the Northern team, regardless of our coastal sharing. I was never afraid of you in the way most fans and rappers were. I recall saying aloud once after Pac died, “Fuck a Suge Knight!” and a friend of mine quickly hushing me, lest you hear such foul utterance- in spite of the entire span of the United States distancing us. I may never have actually gotten to west side until i was in my 20s, but thanks to you and the Death Row squad and affiliates, I felt like I spent most of teens there. You put together an umbrella that represented a unified front of west coast thuggery and music.

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Titty titty ass nipple. Lick lick poke thrust squeeeeezzzeeee. Ahhhhh. Ride climb groan moan. Mmmmmm.

Now that I have your attention, let’s chat for a minute about sex. Sex, as you may be aware is a big deal. Its currently bringing down both the Mayor of Detroit and the Governor- make that former Governor of New York. It’s currently occurring in offices, break rooms, beds and cars. You are thinking about it. So here are a few bits of information about sex that are floating around the net these days, maybe you’ll learn a new trick.

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The incomparably inspirational and pimptastic Texan Mac Brown and I were partaking in a conversational exchange the other day and he brought up the topic of ageism in Hip Hop; how rampant it is, and how most 25 year olds, if they haven’t made it yet- need to just walk away. after a brief moment of consideration, I had to agree. To generalize- mastery in most careers that human beings undertake take years to achieve. The best and brightest are often the oldest as they have spent years honing and perfecting their craft, Nature then deals a cruel twist of fate as many who finally gain enough knowledge and experience to be considered masters do so around the time their bodies start to fail; limbs grow weak, minds feeble. Yet and still– you start young, and master old. Unless, of course, you want to a rapper when you grow up. If you want to be rapper, you must start young, master young and quit before you’re 35 lest you be ridiculed as the feeble, out of touch old man, a has been, or worse a barely made it but never really was.

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Blah blah blah…. hip hop is dead… blah blah blah… rap music sucks…. blah blah blah…. hip hop sucks… blah blah blah… rap fans are haters… blah blah blah… titty titty ass nipple… blah blah blah phat ass… blah blah blah…. fuck the south… blah blah blah… the north needs to give up already… blah blah blah… Fat Joe sucks.Sounds familiar? If you have conversations with rap fans or peruse hip hop blogs those are a the main things you’ll be hearing. Peppered in may be a few comments about Nas vs Jay Z Vs Big Vs Pac, but the commentary generally dissolves into Hip Hop being dead and or sucking donkey balls and how much everyone hates rap these days. (more…)

Aside from most rappers that is. While your favorite rapper is busying starting clothing lines, hocking beverages of either alcoholic, vitamin or energy variety, buying sports teams all sorts of other mofos like Michael Eric Dyson, Bill Cosby, Souljah Boy and other assorted white people are trying to be rappers.  

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*ahem* A preemptive ayo for those lacking the maturity to read further.  

A few weeks ago, I had a day off after several weeks hellish workdays which including the sacrifice if weekend. Since I was finally free, and it was 80 degrees, I said a mental fuck you to my northern fam (sorry y’all, you know, deep down, I love you) and took my happy ass to the beach. Packed a book, some lotion and planned to relax.  The book I packed was called Hung, by Scott Paulson Bryant; I had picked up months ago, just never got around to reading it. That day it happened to be on the top of stacks, so it got lucky and got grabbed. (more…)

Losing, in a general sort of way, sucks. When you put your all on the line, go for something you want so bad you could taste, when you have in your sights something that you feel you were destined for. Watching your dreams and hopes dissolve into a puddle of lost hope, it hurts.

In rare cases, people with wisdom see the writing on the wall and devise a way to bow out gracefully, saving the pride and respect and preserving the dream for a later date, when the stars are perhaps aligned more in their favor. Unfortunately, the majority of people walking around today lack wisdom and foresight. Instead, when they feel the ground crumbling beneath them, they react.  In most cases, those reactions are desperate attempts to regain their footing, painful attempted to lash out and dig holes at beneath others, so all sink together.  (more…)