It’s summer time, which means pool parties, beach days and scant attire for the men & women. Due to global warming, trans fats and our increasingly sedentary lifestyles its getting harder and harder to tear ourselves away from the TV or the computer screen to get in some quality physical time (online porn and the actions you do whilst watching it does not count; real life fucking, however, does), leaving many collectives waistlines more swollen than the Mississippi river. Fear not—as you all know, Nintendo, who, I suppose could be in part to blame for generations of kids being fats but with extra strong thumbs and great hand eye coordination, as my blogging brethren Mr. 88 pointed out, unleashed the Wii fit this year therefore allowing you to fight the fat within the comfort of your own home, in reach of your favorite bag of Doritos.

I have yet to personally try out the Wii fit; I like my gym and am frankly a bit speculative on how standing on a pad will in fact work out a variety of muscle groups (if you have personal experience with the Wii fit, feel free to chime in).  I mean couldn’t in fact people, sot on the couch, resting their feet on the pad and call it a day?   

Then Mr. 88 passed on an article about yet another option that soon could be available for all the Wii-cisers: Pole Dancing. Yep, you read that correctly. Apparently Peekabo industries (those good folks who brought you the Peek-a-boo pole dancing kit  (which comes with not just a pole, but fake money and a lacy garter and available for purchase in the Barbie section on your local toy store (no lie)) and the Carmen Electra endorsed Electra-pole, are looking to capitalize on the popularity of whoredom (I kid- props to strippers, boo to whores) and growing emergence of pole dancing exercise studios across the US by creating a Wii fit pole dancing component.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against stripper. I’ve taken a pole dancing twirl-a-thon class or two myself, and I’m the first to admit that I give mad props to the woman with the physical strength, prowess and dexterity to swing, swang and flip around poles night after night. I’m not there yet (if I was, I probably wouldn’t be writing this Rolexx pay > Alumnah pay) (I kid. I heart Alumnah), and I quickly learned that my difficulties lay in my ability to go home and practice, for I do not have a pole in my house, nor the desire to purchase and install them, despite the great conversation starter it  could be. But I digress. Back to the Wii fit pole dancing and its lack of pole for dancing. I, I just don’t get it. So I researched furthered and read this:

Peekaboo rep Simon Kay told the blog that the idea behind bringing what he calls “aerobic pole dancing ” to the Wii is “all about fun and fitness.” According Kay, Peekaboo wants the game “to do for pole dancing what Guitar Hero did for rock n roll!”

Uh huh.  Now by all accounts, this add on to the Wii fit system is not even in the prototype phases, in fact the makers Peekaboo Pole Dancing is in fact, looking for partners to make their virtual stripper dream a reality, so perhaps my critique on a  non-existing product is in fact, slightly premature. Nonetheless, I critique because, well lets face it I haven’t posted in awhile and I needed to lest my entry card be suspended. Again, I digress.  Back to the Wii pole dancing—my only recommendation to the company, is well, try really hard and include a pole of some sort. Or an antigravity device. Flipping upside down without one or the other would be more akin to falling on the floor, which is decidedly not sexy enough to get any quarters pelted at you by druinken strip club patrons. (Aim higher ladies; always go for the silent money that folds not the cold money that clinks).