T.G.I.F.F. What’s that extra F for you ask? Fucking! It’s finally Friday, so here is your latest installment of fun and freaktastic factoids I learned whilst interneting (c: Fux) this week:

Would you like some Pussy to get you through the day? Joining the ranks of Red Bull, Rockstar, Cocaine, the Brits bring us Pussy, tagline Pussy believes in natural energy - because it’s better for you. Pussy is made of “a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Granadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs: Milk Thistle, Guarana. Siberian Ginseng, Sarsaparilla, Schizandra and Gingko Biloba.”   If Pussy isn’t your cup of tea, or choice of energy drink, you can always try Booty Sweat.

More Sex Now = Less Penis Issues Later. As if you men needed more reasons to have a lot of sex, this new study indicates that frequent sex may decrease you’re risk of erectile dysfunction in the future. “It’s what we in vascular surgery refer to as the ‘use it or lose it’ concept,” said Dr. Hossein Sadeghi-Nejad, an associate professor of urology at UMDNJ New Jersey Medical School Hackensack University Medical Center.  Before you run out and slide in the first pair of legs that open, be aware that more sex with skuzzy , dirty hos could give you something that makes your wee wee rot and fall off, so a smart move is to practice monogamous sex with someone who doesn’t have a ho-riffic sexual history and use condoms. Just a suggestion to keep your wee wee’s safe from harm.

Sleepy Sex. Confession: there’s nothing better than waking up a bit, reaching for my fella’s morning wood and stroking him awakes the perfect wake up call, or even a nice sleepy session before falling asleep again on a weekend. Sleepy sex is nice. However, it varies very different from sexsomnia. Unfortunately, for those suffering from “sexsomnia,” sleepy sex isn’t a cause for celebration. According to this article there over “11 different sex-related sleep disorders that are classified as “sexsomnia,” “sleep sex,” or “atypical sexual behavior during sleep.” People with sexsomnia unknowingly engage in a variety of sexual activities while they sleep. Reported behaviors include fondling, masturbation, initiating sex with a partner, sexual vocalizations, sexual assault and/or rape (including of one’s spouse), sleep exacerbation of persistent sexual arousal syndrome, ictal sexual hyperarousal and ictal orgasm. (“Ictal” is a physiological state like that of a seizure or stroke.)”

Lavonia, GA: the town of Haters. The town of Lavonia, GA recently spent $1,000,000.00 (yes, one million) to purchase a local strip club, only to tear it down and burn the sign in a huge bonfire. Despite the economical hard times this country, Lavonia callously put dozens of young women who were all dancing to pay for medical school out of work, and deprived their “scholarship providers” an opportunity to practice philanthropy. Come on Lavonia- strippers gotta eat too! Stop hating, start participating.

As always, I wish you a long healthy sex life so wrap it up before you stab it up and if you are fucking someone you refer to as “bitch” or “asshole:, it may be time to stop fucking them and finds someone you think happier thoughts about.