T.G.I.F.F. We made it through another week! Hallelujah.  Whether its pay day, lay day or just another Friday for you, here is your latest dose of freaky fuck factoids I’ve scoured the net for:

WTF? I mean seriously- what thee fuck? A New Mexico appeals court recently ruled that a sperm donor was liable for paying child support. In this particular case, the donor was not anonymous, but a friend if the couple, however it would seem this could set a rather dangerous precedent. Ladies, if you want a baby and choose to have one on your own with nothing but the donated sperm, you are relinquishing any finical claims you have to his bank account. Again, in this particular case, that isn’t the situation, as the donor was not anonymous and had a presence in the kids’ lives. The larger lesson: before you get knocked up, do the knocking, you damn well better make sure you two are crystal clear and on the same page of the same book about your procreation desires and child rearing views.

Old sex. This study reveals that, given you are otherwise healthy, there is no reason your sex life shouldn’t remain satisfying and active well into your golden years. This particularly delights me because I’d like to go out after drifting to sleep after a fantastic orgasm when I’m in my late 80s or so.

Loud Sex? No thanks. Personally, I find excessive moaning and screaming far to theatrical and disingenuous to the overall sexual experience. I don’t want a silent fella, hell no, not a good look either, but all the extra loud porn screaming always seems forced, as of, well, they aren’t actually having fun and are just mimicking what they saw on a porn. Fortunately, I’ve never had to deal with a man who screamed like a banshee, and aside from a drum circle at 2 in the morning once, my neighbors aren’t too loud either. Unfortunately for these folks in Britain, that’s not the case as the City Council has banned him from within 110 feet of his house, as their sex is far too loud. Classy.

The Pill is Evil. Aside from the possible blood clots, cancer, strokes, (Fuck. Why am I taking these things again?) The pill can also cause women to be unhappy, hold grudges and date losers!  By tricking the body into thinking it’s, in a sense, in a perpetual state of “hormonal pregnancy” (meaning no ovulation), there’s a halt to the release of a plethora of hormones that are pretty frigging necessary for a naturally healthy and happy sex life. Fuck it, I’m tossing my pills tonight, I don’t want to date more losers! Fortunately, there are a multitude of other birth control options available, so no excuses, use something.

Liquor makes you pretty. Many of you have gotten drink and woken up to uglies (not me, I just date losers, see above) and have longed claimed to have been a victim of beer goggles. Turns out, you were right.  This British study has revealed that intoxication does indeed increase the attractiveness of others, or rather how you perceive them to be. Want to stop waking up to ugmos? Drink less.

As always, I wish you a long and healthy sex life, so wrap it up before you stab it up. If you have a special someone be sweet to them, and if you’re someone isn’t that special, stop wasting your time and find one who is.