As many of you, I’ve been paying attention to the Olympics.  I’ve been reading about the events more than I’ve been watching, because, let’s face it, there’s a 16 hour time difference and I need my beauty rest.   But I’ve caught Olympic fever- there’s something about witnessing goals achieved, athletic perfection achieved, sportsmanship, and the coming together for a common goal that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Perusing the Olympics website, I found myself rewarding about a number of rather obscure sports (to me at least) and wondered who some of the champs may be of rappers competed. Athletic prowess aside, I drafted a list of Hip Hop medalist, and called in my Alumnah partner in crime, Crazy88, for his thoughts. The process was simple, take the brief definition (cut and pasted for your viewing pleasure) written about each sport on the official Olympics site, and match it up with the Hip Hop equivalent. Some we got pretty well, others we guessed at (the sports and definitions really are rather obscure). Take a look and chime in below if you agree of who your picks would be.

Archery
Anyone familiar with the legend of Robin Hood knows archery competitions date back at least to mediaeval times. Indeed, today’s archers still honour the fabled outlaw. The term “Robin Hood” now refers to splitting the shaft of an arrow already in the target with another arrow.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Preemo-who the fuck else’s music hits the bulls eye that consistently? Honestly- whenever I meet a fella worth getting lax with my borth control and we start seeding the earth with gifts from my womb, I’m hooking headphones to my belly and playing Preemo instrumental for 9 months.

Athletics
Athletics is, in many ways, the embodiment of the Olympic motto, “Citius, Altius, Fortius”, meaning faster, higher, stronger. Athletics (or track and field) is about running faster, jumping higher and throwing further than your competitors. 

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Jay Z. Does it really need an explanation? He sets the bar lyrically and businesswise.

Badminton
Made-for-television radar guns instantly flash the speed of serves, volleys and pitches to the sporting public around the world these days, but few viewers could name the world’s fastest racket sport. The title belongs to badminton.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Twista. The fastest tongue in the Midwest who also displays great lyrical dexterity, even though he’s been AWOL from the rap landscape for a minute. .

Baseball
Baseball’s stature in the history of the United States is perhaps reflected more clearly in a simple dictionary rather than in the seven-centimetre-thick baseball encyclopaedia.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Wu Tang. The Wu Tang phone book is seven centimeter thick, the collective discography of the clan is the stuff of legends.

Basketball
For 36 years after basketball entered the Olympic Games as a full medal sport for men, the question was not who would win, but who would finish second. The United States owned the game, and not just because it was invented there.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Boogie Down Productions. We can go back and forth over who recorded the first rap single, who spit the first line and which block party, but BDP were inarguably some of the forefathers,  

Beach Volleyball
Because of the many difficulties of playing outdoors, such as the sand, the sun and the wind, beach volleyball players must have outstanding ball skills and court speed. Partners must be well matched or opponents will win easy points by exploiting the weaker player.

HIP HOP MEDALIST:  Lil Wayne. He should have lost early. All the odds were against him. Yet somehow, he’s been well enough matched and played against enough of the big dogs to actually be the GOAT (to himself at least).

Boxing
When it first arrived in the Ancient Olympic Games, the tools of the trade were long strips of leather wrapped around boxers’ fists. The fight continued until one man or the other went down or conceded. 

HIP HOP MEDALIST: LL Cool J. Mama Said Knock You Out. LL’s gotten old and whiny but he’s still a battle tested champ.

Canoeing
A whalebone and driftwood frame, with a sea-lion skin stretched tautly over it and waterproofed with whale fat, hardly suggests a budding Olympic sport. Yet the kayaks that meant life to the Inuits in the Arctic for centuries have become the racing kayaks of the modern world — even if the building materials have changed. 

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Chamillionaire. He’s an underdog of the New South, and in canoeing if you camt control the boat you are bound to drown; so far, Cham’s in control.

Cycling
Bicycles were first developed in 1817 and have long since been used as a form of transport. Originally, the front wheel was much larger than the rear wheel, and the rider was elevated a great deal, making them difficult to control and very dangerous. 

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em. He’s difficult to control (word to Ice T) and dangerous (word to this and every dumb kid listening to him thinking he’s quality rap).

Diving
Almost a century ago, “fancy diving” entered the Olympic Games as a new event. It was simply diving, as we know it today, and indeed, the 1996 programme did not change a blink from the 1924 programme. Now here comes some truly fancy diving: synchronised diving, or diving in pairs, which was introduced in the Sydney 2000 Games, doubling the programme in more than one way. 

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Puffy. Shiny suit man loves to be fancy, sometimes works in pairs- as long as its flashy, he’s there, jumping in head first. Ayo.           

Equestrian
Equestrian events were included in the Olympic Games for the first time in 1900 and then in 1912, in a format very similar to that which was used at the Athens 2004 Olympic Games. In the past, the three-day event (Eventing) was restricted to military officers, while the jumping and dressage competitions were open to civilians, but only a handful of civilian riders competed up to 1948

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Nas. Is he establishment or is he of the people? Either way, he rides in like a champ, blunts blazing.

Fencing
Take the romantic, swashbuckling epics of Errol Flynn, add some rules, protective clothing and an electronic scoring system, and you have fencing at the Olympic Games. Two rivals stand opposite each other and feint, lunge, parry and riposte until one scores the required number of hits to win.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Big Daddy Kane. Kane was a smooth ass motherfucker who would talk you into slitting your own throat.

Football
While the modern game of football started with the foundation of the Football Association of England in 1863, its roots extend to opposite ends of the earth. The ancient Chinese, Greeks and Romans played a similar game, long before English kings in the 1300s and 1400s were trying to outlaw the violent sport.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: NWA. The original outlaws of rap music.

Gymnastics
Gymnastics has a long, proud history. The sport can be traced back to ancient Greece, where such skills featured in the ancient Olympic Games. A perfect fusion of athletics and aesthetics, gymnastics ranks among the defining sports of the Olympic Games.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Common. He;s got the flow, the charisma, the rap pedigree and crochet pants that make him a winner.

Rhythmic Gymnastics
When rhythmic gymnastics first caught the attention of the Fédération Internationale de Gymnastique (FIG) in the middle of the 20th century, its devotees were calling it “modern gymnastics”. Yet its hazy history can clearly be traced to at least the last century.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Rock Steady Crew. They’re still holding it down and influencing generations of Bboys and Bgirls across the world to pop lock and uprock. (If you’re reading this thinking who?- your ass isn’t Hip Hop)

Handball
The modern game of handball was first played towards the end of the 19th century in Denmark, Germany and Sweden. Recognition of field handball based on the games of “Raffball” and “Königsbergerball” occurred at the turn of the century. G. Wallström introduced Sweden to the sport of “handball” in 1910. 

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Styles. I mean… we know he’s good at throwing napkins.

Hockey
Hockey is the oldest known ball and stick game. Records exist of it having been played in Persia in 2000 BC. The name hockey probably derives from the French hocquet, or shepherd’s crook, and refers to the crooked stick which is used to hit a small ball.

Hip Hop Medalist: Boot Camp Click. Like you can’t imagine these cats winning a sport where you hit things.

Judo
Judo means “the gentle way” in Japanese. Of course, it is derived in part from jujitsu, the hand-to-hand combat technique of ancient samurai warriors, and everything is relative. While throwing opponents to the floor wins most matches, it is the only Olympic sport where submission holds allow choking an opponent or breaking an arm.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: A Tribe Called Quest. They seem gentle and thought provoking, but they’ll still lyrically kick your ass.

Pentathlon
The sport of Modern Pentathlon has been called the “true Olympic sport” and the “sport that most accurately conveys the ideals of Olympism.” It has a long and distinguished history; with its unique Olympic foundation it’s understandable that there are many facets that define and comprise this sport.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Ice Cube. Pentathalon essentially referred to a champ at a variety of different things. Who else fits that bill that this rapper/director/writer/actor all around cool ass motherfucker?

Rowing
Tactically, it sounds as ludicrous as sprinting the first five kilometres of a marathon. To win a 2000-metre rowing race, the crew must sprint for the first 500 metres. Such are the demands in the sport of the Athlete of the Century and the Oarsome Foursome.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Snoop. His career started with a bang, sprinting to the top of the charts and well over a decade later, he’s still in the race.

Sailing
Sailing first became an Olympic sport in Paris in 1900, where time handicaps were used to adjudicate the race. The race format and the classes of competing boats have changed frequently since then.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: TI. He comes off like a cool dude, fly ninja = sailing.

Shooting
Olympic history abounds with tales of athletes who overcame crippling adversity to win gold medals, but Karoly Takacs’ comeback may be the best. Takacs was part of Hungary’s world-champion pistol-shooting team in 1938 when an army grenade exploded in his right hand. 

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Uncle Murda. I don’t really need to explain this one, do I?

Softball
There is little soft about Olympic softball. One pitch at Atlanta was clocked at 118 kilometres per hour (73.3 mph). Considering the pitcher stands 13.1 meters from the batter, and the hardest-throwing baseball pitchers throw 160 kilometers per hour from 18.4 meters, softball batters have essentially the same time to react as their baseball counterparts.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Nappy Roots. Folks may consider the country boys slow based on geography, but their lyrical skill and commitment to Hip Hop make them winners.

Swimming
Olympic swimming has come a long way, to temperature-controlled 50-metre pools, wave-killing gutters, lane markers designed to reduce turbulence, and status as one of the Games’ glamour events. It is far removed from those early days.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Cooked I. Now, Im not called Crooked I  Michael Phelps, but if nothing else, his year of Hip Hop Weeklies proved he had endurance to last (no) and trhe flexibility to ride almost any beat.

Synchronized Swimming
It looks like perhaps the most effortless event in the Olympic Games, but there is more to synchronised swimming than what appears on the surface. Besides demanding strength, endurance, flexibility, grace and artistry, it requires exceptional breath control.

Hip Hop Equivalent: The Roots. Have you seen the cats live? Seriously- go get tickets, now.

Table Tennis
Whatever name it assumes, table tennis has come a long way since its introduction as a genteel, after-dinner alternative to lawn tennis in 1890s England. Today, players compete for big money, wield high-tech rackets and volley the ball at speeds up to 160 kilometres per hour.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Ludacris. He seemed simple, a catchy decent rapper, and he’s not a top force tp be reckoned with in music, television and movies.

Taekwondo
Various Korean forms of martial arts have existed but in the early 20th century, taekwondo became the dominant form. In 1973, the Korean government recognised the World Taekwondo Federation (WTF) as the legitimate governing body of the sport, and the first World Championships were held in that year.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Hype Williams. Because dammit—Hype Williams is significant force in Hip Hop.

Tennis
Today’s Olympic tennis players include some of the highest-profile athletes in the world. Accustomed to five-star hotels and high-stakes prize money, at the Olympic Games they will bunk in the Olympic Village and compete for nothing but a gold medal.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Curtis. Who else in Hip Hop enjoys the back and forth this much?

Trampoline
A perfect fusion of athletics and aesthetics, gymnastics ranks among the defining sports of the Olympic Games. Trampoline gymnastics debuted at the Sydney 2000 Games featuring both men’s and women’s individual events.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Kanye West. The man gives a dope show, and from an artistic standpoint he’s not too damn bad either. (In the spirit of total transparency, Crazy’s original suggestion was Foxy Brown for the “lets see titties bounce” win)

Triathalon
While taekwondo and triathlon both debuted as the newest Olympic sports at the Sydney 2000 Games, triathlon was literally the newest sport. Although the origins of taekwondo date back thousands of years, the triathlon dates back to 1978.
 
HIP HOP MEDALIST: Will Smith. First rapper to win a Grammy? Check. Television series and residuals? Check. Most sought after & highest paid leading man in Hollywood? Check. Oscar nominees? Check, Willard’s got it all.

Volleyball
Prior to Sydney 2000, the International Volleyball Federation (FIVB) introduced a new specialist role: the libero. This player wears a different coloured uniform from the rest of the team and can be substituted in backcourt for any player on the team.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: OutKast. Then can play any position solo, but any fan knows they’re best as a team.

Water Polo
Women’s water polo was one of the new events at the Sydney 2000 Games, adding another dimension to a game long ranked among the most demanding. Prohibited from touching the bottom or side of the pool through four seven-minute quarters, water polo players swim up to five kilometres in a game.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Lil Mama. As Crazy puts it: she got her feet wet with that A Milli freestyle, she will craft her skills & get better

Weightlifting
An ancient sport as old as mankind, embodying the most direct manifestation of human strength, weightlifting has not only flourished, but also developed into a modern sporting discipline for the 21st century.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: Rakim. Need I say more?

Wrestling
If the Olympic Games are a history of mankind, wrestling is the prologue. When the ancient Games of the Olympiad were born, wrestling already was an ancient game. Widely recognised as the world’s oldest competitive sport, wrestling appeared in a series of Egyptian wall paintings as many as 5000 years ago.

HIP HOP MEDALIST: DMX. As many demons and court cases he has to fight, who else is there?