As many of you, I’ve been paying attention to the Olympics.  I’ve been reading about the events more than I’ve been watching, because, let’s face it, there’s a 16 hour time difference and I need my beauty rest.   But I’ve caught Olympic fever- there’s something about witnessing goals achieved, athletic perfection achieved, sportsmanship, and the coming together for a common goal that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Perusing the Olympics website, I found myself rewarding about a number of rather obscure sports (to me at least) and wondered who some of the champs may be of rappers competed. Athletic prowess aside, I drafted a list of Hip Hop medalist, and called in my Alumnah partner in crime, Crazy88, for his thoughts. The process was simple, take the brief definition (cut and pasted for your viewing pleasure) written about each sport on the official Olympics site, and match it up with the Hip Hop equivalent. Some we got pretty well, others we guessed at (the sports and definitions really are rather obscure). Take a look and chime in below if you agree of who your picks would be. (more…)

T.G.I.F.F. We made it through another week! Hallelujah.  Whether its pay day, lay day or just another Friday for you, here is your latest dose of freaky fuck factoids I’ve scoured the net for: (more…)

I have a confession. I haven’t sen Dark Knight yet. I feel like Will smith in I Am Legend. Minus being a Black man and the zombies and being a scientist and all. I know, kill yourself, greenie you lost (for both that godawful analogy and for not seeing Dark Knight), blah blah blah. Look, Ive been busy, working damn near 7 day work weeks, 15 hour days, trying to come up with interesting things to post about (yes I admit, I’m scrapping the bottom of the barrel with this one). I’m so tired I can barely think straight. However, I don’t need to whine to you all, you know how the grind can be, and if you don’t, go get a damn job. But I digress. (more…)

Def Jam artist Rick Ross was outed. It turns out, he had a career unbecoming of a rap artist prior to be a rap artists.  We at Alumnah have also uncovered another starling fact that may come as another shock to the weary hearts of the Hip Hop nation.  Many of you may want to sit down first. His name isn’t actually Rick Ross. That lying bustard!! Let’s riot!!!

I kid of course; I’d never incite public disturbances on a massive scale, but f’real….. Ya’ll are putting way too much fucking power in an entertainers image. Cats are running around the innanets acting like the motherfucker shot your momma. So Ricky isn’t quite a boss. So he was a… Corrections. Officer.  So the fuck what? (more…)

Dear Earl:

It’s Dark and Hell is Hot. You know what else is hot and dark and rather hellish? Jail.

So I’ve heard at least, fortunately, I’ve never been as anything more than a visitor. Friends, who have however, aren’t quite eager to return. Those who are in are in fact, quite eager to leave. (more…)

I spent a rainy Saturday watching Willard Smith’s latest summr blockbuster Hancock. As many of you have probably discussed, it was a rather subpar summer movie, cool premise, but relatively inept. Will Smith is a surly superhero, saves some guy who works in PR who insists on paying him back by rehabbing his image, takes him home to meet the wife & kids for Super Meatball night. It literally couldn’t have been more obvious that blonde wifey was hiding things, blah blah, cut to the chase- we find out the Charlize Theron, as happy blonde wife, is also a superhero, but in hiding and the wife of Will’s superhero. She whines and mopes, gets in a big fight with Will, mainly because she doesn’t want to be a super hero anymore. It’s been 3000 years and she just wants to be normal and have super meatball Thursdays.  Instead of portraying the superhero archetype, what we witness is instead a perfect manifestation of a weak woman unable to deal with power of any kind stereotype. (more…)

It’s summer time, which means pool parties, beach days and scant attire for the men & women. Due to global warming, trans fats and our increasingly sedentary lifestyles its getting harder and harder to tear ourselves away from the TV or the computer screen to get in some quality physical time (online porn and the actions you do whilst watching it does not count; real life fucking, however, does), leaving many collectives waistlines more swollen than the Mississippi river. Fear not—as you all know, Nintendo, who, I suppose could be in part to blame for generations of kids being fats but with extra strong thumbs and great hand eye coordination, as my blogging brethren Mr. 88 pointed out, unleashed the Wii fit this year therefore allowing you to fight the fat within the comfort of your own home, in reach of your favorite bag of Doritos. (more…)

It may come as quite a shock to some of you, but rappers tend to get into trouble with the law almost as much as young white Hollywood starlets. Unlike those silly starlets, however, there seems to be a massive conspiracy put forth by the powers that be, The Man, Dr. Yacub, Lyor Cohen, Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, Oprah, Bill Cosby, Yahweh, The Bilderburg Convention, Dick Cheney, Laura Bush, Fidel Castro, Tony Blair and Yemeya, to hold your favorite rappers back from their true potential. Or, so says Remy Ma. (more…)

Happy sexy Tuesday. Here’s hoping you all had a great safe sex filled weekend, maybe you and your boo got a hotel, spent the weekend freaking, left the poor traumatized maid a nice tip because you forgot to use the “do not disturb sign.” Maybe you didn’t get laid over the weekend, but got some Monday nookie. Maybe you didn’t get shit. Regardless of booty getting quotient, alumnah.com loves you. I scoured the internet, seedy parts and all to find the latest sex news from around the world.  Learn something. Use a condom.
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I was shuffling through the old ipod the other day when I happened across “Dreams” from Lil Kim’s first pussy popping rap opus Hardcore. Not having listened to Hardcore in a while, I started listened to the album in its entirety at which point I had bit of an ah ha! moment. For awhile I had been musing the hypersexualization of women; this past decade has without a doubt seen an explosion in women not just celebrating their sexuality, but going above and beyond sexual ownership and and empowerment and becoming, in many cases vapid empty vessels purely of sex. Not sensuality, not seduction, but raw, unobstructed sex.
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