As you may be aware, Barack Obama finally chose a running mate. The pick was promised to be delivered first to his supporters via text message, but somehow the news leaked, so many supporters received text messages about 3am EST on Saturday morning with the announcement. I wasn’t one of them; I’m of the opinion these politicians have more than enough money and mine is better spent paying my own bills.  His choice of Biden wasn’t much of a surprise to politicos and those paying even slight attention to the presidential race. Barack has faced a great deal of criticism for being too young, too inexperienced in foreign policy and national security. And the whole he’s Black thing. A natural and seemingly wise choice to combat all that criticism was Joe Biden, a career Democrat, and an old White guy.

You may already be voting for Barack because you are a staunch Democrat, you like him, he’s Black. You may already have decided to vote for McCain because you’re a Republican, you like old White guys, you have a POW fetish. Or you may be of the opinion that the Illuminati has already decided the fate of the election so the actual act of voting is futile, and therefore you’ll spend election day eating Cheerio’s and watching Cartoons and Porn. Regardless, you should all be a bit informed, so to save you from searching through websites, newspapers and books to learn about Joe, we here at Alumnah have worked tirelessly to compile this (hopefully) helpful Joe Biden primer. (more…)

Dear Earl:

It’s Dark and Hell is Hot. You know what else is hot and dark and rather hellish? Jail.

So I’ve heard at least, fortunately, I’ve never been as anything more than a visitor. Friends, who have however, aren’t quite eager to return. Those who are in are in fact, quite eager to leave. (more…)

Dear Hip Hop:

I hate to be the one to inform you, and I know you won’t like to hear this, but, well… Barack doesnt give a fuck about you. Barack may be your homeboy, but you sure as hell aren’t his.  Frankly, I for one am glad. (more…)

The Second Amendment Lives on!!

Many of you may not be aware, (I sure as hell wasn’t), that today in D.C., the Supreme Court was interpreting the true meaning of the 2^nd Amendment.  For those not up to par on their amendment verbatim, the 2^nd amendment states: “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”  In a case brought to the Supreme Court due to Washington D.C.’s strict (and now struck down) 32 year ban on guns, the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional for citizens to be forbidden from owning a gun for purposes of self-defense. (more…)

Dear Marion,

Hi Suge! It’s me, greenie. Its been awhile since we last spoke Suga Bear. You don’t mind that I call you Suga Bear do you? I mean as much as we go back, you should be cool with my affectionate nickname. I mean, shit… I was down with Death Row from the word go. My domicile may have been on the Eastern seaboard, but lets be honest, back in the early 90s ain’t nann body paid attention to the South, and I was never riding for the Northern team, regardless of our coastal sharing. I was never afraid of you in the way most fans and rappers were. I recall saying aloud once after Pac died, “Fuck a Suge Knight!” and a friend of mine quickly hushing me, lest you hear such foul utterance- in spite of the entire span of the United States distancing us. I may never have actually gotten to west side until i was in my 20s, but thanks to you and the Death Row squad and affiliates, I felt like I spent most of teens there. You put together an umbrella that represented a unified front of west coast thuggery and music.

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Titty titty ass nipple. Lick lick poke thrust squeeeeezzzeeee. Ahhhhh. Ride climb groan moan. Mmmmmm.

Now that I have your attention, let’s chat for a minute about sex. Sex, as you may be aware is a big deal. Its currently bringing down both the Mayor of Detroit and the Governor- make that former Governor of New York. It’s currently occurring in offices, break rooms, beds and cars. You are thinking about it. So here are a few bits of information about sex that are floating around the net these days, maybe you’ll learn a new trick.

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Blah blah blah…. hip hop is dead… blah blah blah… rap music sucks…. blah blah blah…. hip hop sucks… blah blah blah… rap fans are haters… blah blah blah… titty titty ass nipple… blah blah blah phat ass… blah blah blah…. fuck the south… blah blah blah… the north needs to give up already… blah blah blah… Fat Joe sucks.Sounds familiar? If you have conversations with rap fans or peruse hip hop blogs those are a the main things you’ll be hearing. Peppered in may be a few comments about Nas vs Jay Z Vs Big Vs Pac, but the commentary generally dissolves into Hip Hop being dead and or sucking donkey balls and how much everyone hates rap these days. (more…)

Losing, in a general sort of way, sucks. When you put your all on the line, go for something you want so bad you could taste, when you have in your sights something that you feel you were destined for. Watching your dreams and hopes dissolve into a puddle of lost hope, it hurts.

In rare cases, people with wisdom see the writing on the wall and devise a way to bow out gracefully, saving the pride and respect and preserving the dream for a later date, when the stars are perhaps aligned more in their favor. Unfortunately, the majority of people walking around today lack wisdom and foresight. Instead, when they feel the ground crumbling beneath them, they react.  In most cases, those reactions are desperate attempts to regain their footing, painful attempted to lash out and dig holes at beneath others, so all sink together.  (more…)

Hip Hop has seemingly found legitimacy, not just as a musical art form but as a derivative culture. The Hip Hop Diaspora has spawned sub genres of art forms from theater to visual art that have staked claims within so called legitimate venues for classical arts.

The Smithsonian in Washington DC is offering an exhibit featuring portraits of Rap music icons hung in the National Portrait gallery- next to the likes of George Washington. Detroit’s Museum of Contemporary Art is also presenting a 12 piece exhibition by  Russian-born American painter Alexander Melamid: Holy Hip-Hop! New Paintings by Alex Melamid. Major theatrical institutions are commissioning and producing works by artist from the Hip Hop Diaspora.  Corporate behemoths have long recognized the marketing value of usurping Hip Hop images and hiring rappers and other Hip Hip figure heads as spokesfolk, all adding t the legitimacy of Hip Hp and its commercial market share.

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Hip Hop is why I leave very nondescript voicemails, if I leave any at all.  Thanks to Havoc and every other rap album skit messages I leave to men I have romantic liaisons with are limited to “Hi it’s me, call me when you can” No seductive insinuations, no breathy “Baby I been thinking of you” or “Wowzers Rey, last night you so totally blew my mind. Amanda is a lucky girl” because, you know… I’m not trying to end up on a skit. Or on YouTube.  Or indicted in a court of law.
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