Bullshit & debauchery with a side of hot sauce.

Dear Foxy

Aug 3, 2008

Dear Foxy,

Inga.. whats going on? Lets chat, woman to woman. it would seem you’re making choice ( i know i mean, shit is just happening to you) that is constantly putting you in messy situations.  A once fledgling career is now  but a memory. Not quite distant, but not quite current, despite that whole mixtape debacle (I know, they fucked it up, had you had you’re way it NEVER would have been released as it was).  In the latest move you’re featured in the cover of XXL (Yay!!) in a glamor shots that was taken at the cheap photographer in the ghetto mall (no yay). Methinks you need a bit of career rehab. Walk wit me… »

Friday Freaky Tales

Aug 1, 2008

 

T.G.I.F.F. What’s that extra F for you ask? Fucking! It’s finally Friday, so here is your latest installment of fun and freaktastic factoids I learned whilst interneting (c: Fux) this week: Walk wit me… »

Nappy roots

In numerology, the number five signifies coming to life, invention, vitality, enjoyment, play, and creativity. The Grammy nominated Kentucky rap quintet Nappy Roots is the literal personification of all that the number 5 represents. From a 2003 appearance in Iraq, Kuwait and Qatar as one of the few Hip Hop acts (and one of the most requested!)  to participate in a USO tour, to artistic collaborations with everyone from Kanye West to The Dave Mathews Band, Nappy Roots has come a long way from throwing house parties as undergrads at western Kentucky State University. True entrepreneurs, Nappy Roots have been steady grinding, releasing mixtapes and touring, staying in touch with fans and creating music that has been a southern stew of blues, rap, politics, alcohol, weed, sex, soul and fun. After taking the industry by storm with 2002’s platinum selling Watermelon, Chicken & Gritz, and following that up Wooden Leather a year later, Nappy Roots earned themselves a plethora of accolades and fans across the globe. They are the epitome of grown ass men, unapologetic and true to themselves with their word as their bond.

Those words have kept them bonded to diehard fans as they navigated the often tumultuous music industry. An exit from Atlantic Records and down a member (R. Prophet left to pursue a solo career), five years later, official Kentucky Colonel’s Skinny Deville, B. Stille, Ron Clutch, Scales and Big V have spent the last 5 years grinding hard and with the August 5 release of their 5th CD looming, and a new deal with Fontana/Universal, Nappy Roots is poised to establish themselves once again as a force to be reckoned with.

I recently had the opportunity to have a very candid conversation with Skinny Deville about where Nappy Roots has been, why the fuck the rap biz is all sorts of fucked up and what’s on the horizon for one of rap music’s most creative groups. Walk wit me… »

Jul 27, 2008

 

Dear Justin,

Die you ignorant Cracka ass cracka. I’m sorry, that was rude. To the point, but rude nonetheless.

Frankly you don’t deserve much more. You are the kind of talentless douche bag that I generally try and ignore, however you have seemingly wormed your way into the word talented and are spreading your craptastic doucheness and racist antics in a rather broad way. Walk wit me… »

 

T.G.I.F.F. What’s that extra F for you ask? Fucking! Its Friday,, and we haven’t chatted about sex lately
(despite what Says seems to think), so before you run off for a weekend of baseless debauchery , one night stands and orgasmic delight, here are some interesting factoids to ponder. Walk wit me… »

Def Jam artist Rick Ross was outed. It turns out, he had a career unbecoming of a rap artist prior to be a rap artists.  We at Alumnah have also uncovered another starling fact that may come as another shock to the weary hearts of the Hip Hop nation.  Many of you may want to sit down first. His name isn’t actually Rick Ross. That lying bustard!! Let’s riot!!!

I kid of course; I’d never incite public disturbances on a massive scale, but f’real….. Ya’ll are putting way too much fucking power in an entertainers image. Cats are running around the innanets acting like the motherfucker shot your momma. So Ricky isn’t quite a boss. So he was a… Corrections. Officer.  So the fuck what? Walk wit me… »

Dear DMX

Jul 20, 2008

Dear Earl:

It’s Dark and Hell is Hot. You know what else is hot and dark and rather hellish? Jail.

So I’ve heard at least, fortunately, I’ve never been as anything more than a visitor. Friends, who have however, aren’t quite eager to return. Those who are in are in fact, quite eager to leave. Walk wit me… »

Dear Hip Hop

Jul 14, 2008

Dear Hip Hop:

I hate to be the one to inform you, and I know you won’t like to hear this, but, well… Barack doesnt give a fuck about you. Barack may be your homeboy, but you sure as hell aren’t his.  Frankly, I for one am glad. Walk wit me… »

 

I spent a rainy Saturday watching Willard Smith’s latest summr blockbuster Hancock. As many of you have probably discussed, it was a rather subpar summer movie, cool premise, but relatively inept. Will Smith is a surly superhero, saves some guy who works in PR who insists on paying him back by rehabbing his image, takes him home to meet the wife & kids for Super Meatball night. It literally couldn’t have been more obvious that blonde wifey was hiding things, blah blah, cut to the chase- we find out the Charlize Theron, as happy blonde wife, is also a superhero, but in hiding and the wife of Will’s superhero. She whines and mopes, gets in a big fight with Will, mainly because she doesn’t want to be a super hero anymore. It’s been 3000 years and she just wants to be normal and have super meatball Thursdays.  Instead of portraying the superhero archetype, what we witness is instead a perfect manifestation of a weak woman unable to deal with power of any kind stereotype. Walk wit me… »

Bang! Bang!

Jun 26, 2008

The Second Amendment Lives on!!

Many of you may not be aware, (I sure as hell wasn’t), that today in D.C., the Supreme Court was interpreting the true meaning of the 2nd Amendment.  For those not up to par on their amendment verbatim, the 2nd amendment states: “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”  In a case brought to the Supreme Court due to Washington D.C.’s strict (and now struck down) 32 year ban on guns, the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional for citizens to be forbidden from owning a gun for purposes of self-defense. Walk wit me… »

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